Hurt and Exclusion

And whoever will not receive you, when you go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet as a testimony against them.” (‭Luke‬ ‭9‬:‭5‬ NKJV)

I feel like a teenager. I never experienced being excluded much growing up. I was never kicked out of a group of friends because of whatever reason people do those things as a teenager. Since becoming a Christian I have experienced this three times now.  

I became apart of a Girls and God group a few years back when it was first formed. It was this amazing group where godly women got together and talked about the deepest parts of their lives. It helped us all not feel so alone. We shared all these things that drove us crazy and made us feel alone and excluded from the world only to discover we weren’t the only ones that were feeling that. We read the bible, we even listened to a few worship songs, and we had fellowship in Christ. 

The one who runs this group and I had been friends for about fifteen years. For a period of time we had a falling out because she liked to only hang out with certain girls and I wasn’t one. So I brought it up to her. We talked it out and things changed. Or did they?

When we moved to a different state I became unable to go to group every week (I now live 10 hours away) but I was so glad that I could continue to be apart of it on Facebook and pray for them when they’d post prayer requests. Lately that’s the most often I would pray. Today I was kicked out. The reason? I don’t go to it. Yep. Because every week I think “hmmm I just don’t feel like going to Girls and God this week. I’m going to skip.” That’s how I roll. I could totally drive over and go every week if I REALLY wanted to. (Insert sarcasm here). 

I’ve heard about how they began to exclude others who were even going regularly too. Evidently nothing actually changed. Evidently I just prolonged a crap friendship for another 10 years. Ugh. I’m so angry with myself! Why did I push that friendship? Don’t push friendships that go out of their way to make you feel bad by excluding you. Those people are not worth your time! I can guarantee you will regret it and end up far more hurt than you would have originally. 

What’s great (again sarcasm) is that in her “explanation” she even mentioned how she knew what a rough time I’d been going through with making friends in a new place. It’s like she waited until she knew I was at my lowest to kick me. Let me tell ya! The way to make someone who’s having a rough time with friends feel like a friend and that you care is to kick them out of the group! Seriously!!! 

Wisdom sucks. My parents were right. Ugh. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said that I’d be a billionaire at LEAST!

Clinging to the fact that I know this is not who Christ wanted us to be. He is the friend that sticks closer than a brother no matter how far away I am from Him. He is my hope even when I doubt Him. 

Lord, please heal the hurts of friendship. Please create in me a friend that is loyal and never excluding. Help me to be the kind of friend that doesn’t do what is too often done. And God, please especially bring friends that are quality. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Some music to listen to while you read 🙂

http://youtu.be/yM97NbrFicQ