I have been receiving many different types of looks since I had my hair done in tiny braids and wraps. Ranging from “ummm what is wrong with that woman” to “cool!” Thankfully I’ve gotten quite a few “So cool!” comments, even if they ended with “I could never do that!” I know my taste in clothing and style is very different than those that surround me now. If I wear knee high boots, they’ll have fringe and be faux suede. If I wear leggings, they’ll be covered as much as possible. I love going barefoot and so if my kids don’t HAVE to wear shoes I won’t put them on them. If they don’t have to brush their hair and look all proper for a job interview, I won’t make them. My children look as wild as they are. I love that. Just like I love flowers that are typically considered weeds (even the prickly ones!) I love my kids to be as natural as they want.
I HATED having my hair brushed and done when I was little. It was not a fun thing for me and always ended in tears. My kids are bathed regularly (ok if you call sometimes twice a day and sometimes a day is skipped, regular) and they are well taken care of. Their needs are very well met and I border on a helicopter mom. They are loved that is the best of our (my husband-their dad and my) abilities. They are mostly well behaved even! I’m not going to force things that truly don’t matter when it’s all said and done.
That all being said, I don’t mind the looks when it comes to me. But when a person gives my kid a dirty look because he’s wearing cowboy boots with gray skate style shorts and a red DC t-shirt, with his Mohawk all messy and wild, well that’s another story. He was being perfectly behaved, helping me carry his newly purchased birthday scooter and chatting away with me in a happy-go-lucky way that is purely him. He’s 5 and absolutely perfect to me. In that moment he was even being perfect in all ways that count. He was respectful of those around him and staying out of a main walking path and staying clear of all the crap that clutters the cash registers and typically tends to throw him into a grumpy fit because he can’t have any of the crap. He was being AMAZING!!
Yet, the cashier and some random lady both stared with scowls and dirty looks at him. There was no cheer in their eyes. Just judgment. I could have said something about the cashier and her frizzy hair in the same manner that she was judging my son. I didn’t even bother looking at what the other lady was wearing because I became more focused on loading up and talking with my son.
Now, because I have been in a place where I end up placing my own worries and insecurities on others I checked myself and I feel clear of worries and insecurities (in this area anyways haha!). I am left with a feeling of wonder at people who feel children should be so restricted. I’m curious as to their thoughts on this, why they feel their children should look a certain way. Does this make them behave better? My children are pretty well behaved (and that’s including their delays which tend to create more difficult situations that would typically make the delayed child appear to others as horribly behaved) and are happy and friendly. Do you feel it teaches them something for the future? If so, what?
I truly am curious because I’m just doing what I feel is best but if there is a better way I am all for change! I want what’s best for my kids and if someone knows of something that would be great for my kids that would make a good difference in their lives and future then I’m absolutely interested in that. I will never claim to be all knowing, ESPECIALLY when it comes to parenting. I am just flying by the seat of my pants and a WHOLE LOT of faith in God.
I hope that I will always give those around me a look of love and grace. I know my face is an open book and very expressive and I pray that every expression I give to others speaks of the grace that I am given by my Savior and God.
Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. (John 8:36 NKJV)
I’ll also, go ahead and leave my other wild boy here with his bed-head lol! I just love his wild hair!!!!!
I know all the birds of the mountains, And the wild beasts of the field are Mine. (Psalms 50:11 NKJV)