Tag Archives: christianity

Hurt and Exclusion

And whoever will not receive you, when you go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet as a testimony against them.” (‭Luke‬ ‭9‬:‭5‬ NKJV)

I feel like a teenager. I never experienced being excluded much growing up. I was never kicked out of a group of friends because of whatever reason people do those things as a teenager. Since becoming a Christian I have experienced this three times now.  

I became apart of a Girls and God group a few years back when it was first formed. It was this amazing group where godly women got together and talked about the deepest parts of their lives. It helped us all not feel so alone. We shared all these things that drove us crazy and made us feel alone and excluded from the world only to discover we weren’t the only ones that were feeling that. We read the bible, we even listened to a few worship songs, and we had fellowship in Christ. 

The one who runs this group and I had been friends for about fifteen years. For a period of time we had a falling out because she liked to only hang out with certain girls and I wasn’t one. So I brought it up to her. We talked it out and things changed. Or did they?

When we moved to a different state I became unable to go to group every week (I now live 10 hours away) but I was so glad that I could continue to be apart of it on Facebook and pray for them when they’d post prayer requests. Lately that’s the most often I would pray. Today I was kicked out. The reason? I don’t go to it. Yep. Because every week I think “hmmm I just don’t feel like going to Girls and God this week. I’m going to skip.” That’s how I roll. I could totally drive over and go every week if I REALLY wanted to. (Insert sarcasm here). 

I’ve heard about how they began to exclude others who were even going regularly too. Evidently nothing actually changed. Evidently I just prolonged a crap friendship for another 10 years. Ugh. I’m so angry with myself! Why did I push that friendship? Don’t push friendships that go out of their way to make you feel bad by excluding you. Those people are not worth your time! I can guarantee you will regret it and end up far more hurt than you would have originally. 

What’s great (again sarcasm) is that in her “explanation” she even mentioned how she knew what a rough time I’d been going through with making friends in a new place. It’s like she waited until she knew I was at my lowest to kick me. Let me tell ya! The way to make someone who’s having a rough time with friends feel like a friend and that you care is to kick them out of the group! Seriously!!! 

Wisdom sucks. My parents were right. Ugh. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said that I’d be a billionaire at LEAST!

Clinging to the fact that I know this is not who Christ wanted us to be. He is the friend that sticks closer than a brother no matter how far away I am from Him. He is my hope even when I doubt Him. 

Lord, please heal the hurts of friendship. Please create in me a friend that is loyal and never excluding. Help me to be the kind of friend that doesn’t do what is too often done. And God, please especially bring friends that are quality. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Some music to listen to while you read 🙂

http://youtu.be/yM97NbrFicQ

Another bump in the road.

Sometimes we will be driving along and; either in too much of a hurry, or just enjoying the beauty of the drive, we miss a giant pothole directly in our path. Have you ever done that? Then you hit it and you’re so jarred you have to really concentrate to get control of the wheel back. Or worse, suddenly your tire blows and your stuck on the side of the road?
Life can be like that. You’ll be so distracted by so many things that you don’t see this huge ugly pothole that’s coming straight at you. After you hit it you realize how it could have easily been avoided or you make excuses about how there was no way you would have seen it. Hopefully you’re the former type of person. The latter type sometimes makes me want to pull my hair out. I do that sometimes, so it’s surprising that I’m not bald, maybe that’s why God blessed me with the massive amount of hair that I have (seriously. It’s a TON. I’ve yet to meet a stylist or anyone who touches my hair that doesn’t comment on how much I have.) so that there’s no chance of me going bald from driving myself crazy.
If you are jarred or sitting on the side of the road after hitting one of life’s potholes I hope you find hope in the One that can help you see all future potholes. If we become so intent on Him that all we do is wait for His instruction we will avoid potholes and have quite the smooth ride.
How easy is that though?! Way easier said than done. We get distracted by the shiny and the smooth words that make our pride and ego bright and pretty. We hear words from people who make our flesh feel nice (sometimes quite literally, if ya know what I mean. Nudge* nudge* wink* wink*). Or sometimes (this is typically my case here) we throw a temper tantrum. We are sick of not getting our way and basically say “FINE! I’m doing THIS then! How do you like THAT huh?!” And go our own way only to slam into that pothole so hard you see stars.
For example. I began watching a show that my spirit was very much against. My stomach twisted and turned as I watched it but I kept watching episodes. Suddenly there was chaos around me. My kids weren’t napping. I was insanely irritable and cranky. Screaming and crying were nonstop, when one kid wasn’t crying or screaming another one was. I was so frustrated and wore out and I was going ‘what the heck is going on?!’ As I lay down to take a break from it all (my wonderful hubby always makes sure I get some sort of break every single day) and I go to click on that show and I think ‘what if it’s this? What am I allowing in my home by watching this? That’s crazy, it’s just a show! If anything it builds my faith cause I know none of this can touch me cause I’ve got Jesus. … but what if. Ok, I’ll test it out. I’ll stop watching it for a couple days and see what happens.’ So I did. I haven’t watched it since.
Turns out- it was definitely bringing something into my home and to my family. It stirred things up in the spiritual battle that is going on and made the fight even harder. I’m not saying that everything is suddenly perfect but man! It’s definitely WAY better. So much so that I noticed a massive change and will not be watching that show.
That may sound absolutely insane to most of you who happen to come across this but the proof was in that pudding for sure. Give it a shot, if something you’re doing makes you feel worrisome or just not quite right and everything is chaos around you, try stopping some of the things you’re doing that you have that little voice telling you that you shouldn’t. Try it. See what happens. Worst that can happen is you keep on thinking I’m crazy cause nothing changed. Best that can happen is you get some peace in your life.
May you all find more peace in your life and may you trust Christ a bit more today than you did yesterday.

Now the God of peace be with you all. Amen. (‭Romans‬ ‭15‬:‭33‬ NKJV)

Good enough.

Have you ever been living your merry life and dealing with random, mostly physical, insecurities when suddenly a freight train of insecurity comes out of nowhere and runs you down. I mean, seriously, no train tracks, no horn, no sign of this thing until WHAM! You’ve been run down and are left laying there going “man, I’m so not good enough.”
Yeah, that just happened. So, if you’ve read any of my other posts this is pretty obvious but please allow me to state the obvious as I am a captain f it, I am a Christian. I’m also human. I’ve never considered myself a great Christian. To be honest, I pretty much suck at it most times. I read a few verses daily (mostly because they’re in my newsfeed on Facebook) and I do devotionals through my app inconsistently. The one thing I’m really awesome at is talking to God. Even before I began an actual relationship with God I talked to Him. I’m pretty sure I have never gone a day without talking to God. Every once in awhile I’ll listen, and man it works out awesomely when I do!
When it comes to all those amazing Christian women who are soft spoken and always have a kind word to say and a serene smile on their faces, that’s not me. I’m loud, obnoxious, my mouth speaks faster than my mind can keep up with, I say mean things, I say wrong things, I often prove to be a fool, my face is an open book and that book is VERY animated, and gracefulness is rarely found when I move. I did discover that I’m not too shabby at yoga when making a video of my hilarious antics in trying to do yoga with small children though! I am far from the epitome of a good Christian woman. I’ve been mostly ok with that though. I have always felt that God loves me for who I am because He made me who I am. He made us each different so we can reach different.
Until today. I began reading a fellow Christian mom’s fb page and suddenly became aware of how I’m not measuring up to her standard. Not that she’s even given me her standard. This just suddenly popped in and ran me over. I am feeling like I need to step it up as a Christian and be more like all the quiet, calm, women I see.
But then, this quiet voice tells me, (and we KNOW that’s not me cause quiet voices and I are only in acquaintance because of bedtime and nap time), ‘How boring would it be with everyone exactly the same. Let her be perfect as she is and why don’t you be perfect as you are. You know, the way God made you. You are good enough!’
Yep. So. Anyone out there reading this. Be you. Exactly as God made you. You are good enough and He loves you! Look for the goals that HE sets for you, don’t try to reach for goals that He’s set for someone else. You’ll have no passion for them and will fall flat.

Saving Grace

Grace
1 a : unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification b : a virtue coming from God c : a state of sanctification — the state of growing in divine grace as a result of Christian commitment after baptism or conversion. Sanctify- 1 : to set apart to a sacred purpose or to religious use : consecrate 2 : to free from sin : purify 3 a : to impart or impute sacredness, inviolability, or respect to b : to give moral or social sanction to 4 : to make productive of holiness or piety ) enjoyed through divine grace 2 a : approval, favor b archaic : mercy, pardon c : a special favor : privilege
disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency e : a temporary exemption.- Miriam-Webster definition.

Thinking about grace today and what it means exactly. Reading the definition was a bit confusing to me especially when they used the word in the definition of the word. That’s just mean! Lol!
The part that stood out to me was when the definition stuck the word “sanctification” in it. It got me thinking how Christians have been set apart for a sacred purpose and that purpose is for giving and showing grace to others.
So, we’ve been given this job here on earth. It’s a job we accepted and wanted but yet it sometimes seems impossible to actually do.
The other part that stood out was “…disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency e : a temporary exemption.” To me that says that we should have the character trait if acting in kindness and sharing our temporary exemption with the world. We will have to answer for the sins we’ve committed but we’ve all been given temporary exemptions because of Christ dying for us.
*What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not! (‭Romans‬ ‭6‬:‭15‬ NKJV)
We live under grace. We have been save by grace.
*For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. (‭Ephesians‬ ‭2‬:‭8‬-9 NKJV)
I don’t know why it seems so many Christians feel they have the right to strip grace away (myself included sometimes) from anyone. We judge harshly (as if we don’t know the love and beauty of grace ourselves) and cut people down because we see their sin and they might not be saved from sin. So because we see that they might not know the Savior who died for their sins and are sinning we decide that we are the judge and get to strip them of grace because they don’t know about it.
Ugh. We see that they don’t know grace and don’t show it to them. Right?! How ridiculous is that?! I often don’t even realize I’m being an @$$ and not showing what God so lovingly gave me and therefore end up turning someone who I could have introduced to the One who saved us by His grace away from it and possibly never wanting to know it from my awful example of Christ. I know that no one wants that if they’re a Christian. We are so thankful for the love, forgiveness, and grace that we’ve been so freely given and want others to know it too. It’s never our intention to smack people around with it or hide it away from anyone with ugliness.
I hope I remember these ponderings (my phone is telling me that “ponderings” is not a word, so looks like I’m going rogue here with vocabulary) of mine on a regular basis, as in every minute. I want to give grace to everyone I come in contact with. Even if I’m DRIVING!!!
Ay. Driving. I have terrible road rage. I just want to be alone on the road because NO ONE but ME knows how to drive. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Anyone going faster than me is stupid and crazy! Anyone going slower than me is a complete moron that got their driver’s license at the K-Mart Blue Light Special sale! Whyyyyyyy?!?!?! I have no clue. I love driving. I LOVE going fast! I love feeling the power of a nicely powered engine as I step on the gas and my body gets pushed into the seat. It’s exhilarating! Throw in a turbo with many many horses and great handling (modded out Subaru WRX STI please :-D) and I am in sheer bliss! Thrilling doesn’t cover it! Ok, back on track now. Sorry, love cars so I’m easily distracted. ANYWAYS! Put me behind the wheel in traffic and you’ll see no sign of grace for anyone else on the road (unless they’re driving a sweet car). My hands and arms will be flapping wildly and so will my jaw as I tell everyone how they SHOULD be driving. Utterly ridiculous.
I don’t know why this is. Maybe I need professional help. But when I am behind the wheel is my worst time for showing grace. If ya’ll feel called, say many prayers for me cause I want to constantly share the grace that I am CONSTANTLY given.
Hope your day is perfectly lovely (even though it’s a Monday where I am).
May you all know the grace that has been given through love that none of us will ever fully comprehend.